Uncle Ranter's Cosy Thoughts

Well now that the holiday period is over it may be relevant to air a few truths about the Christmas period.

1. A Christmas Day combination of sprouts, porks, pigs in blankets, season pudding, white sauce, whisky (single malt of course), ale and wine can cause problems if more than thirty feet away from the loo.

2. The T.V. is shite. ( presumption since I didn't turn it on.)

3. The media have perfected the art of removing religion from a religious festival. ( should please the diversity mob)

4. Continuing with 1. in the evening keeps you even closer to the loo the following morning.

5. Sprouts, cold pork and trifle are an amazing if little known cure for a hangover. ( also a reasonable and filling breakfast)

6. There isno time of the year in which politicians can keep their disgusting mouths shut.