I thought that i'd managed to re-start the blog in August but events, as usual , have caused delays to that little plan.
I've decided then to recommence in the new year which is after all a traditional time to 'start afresh' so to speak.
In the new start I've combined all my three blogs so that Plodwatch, The Crouching Croucher and Uncle Ranters will all become the  one blog.
See you  son and A HAPPY NEW YEAR to everybody. ( except politicians, interest groups, jobsworths, BBC employees et al.)

Well back to the blog at last. The last few months have been taken up by what seemed to be a quite involved Industrial Tribunal case but, as ever, things turned out to be straightforward and my ex- employer surrendered without a shot being fired. Bloody spoilsport!
I'm tempted to join all the bloggers who are commenting on the various riots but, as every aspect of every viewpoint seems to have been written to death, I'll just content myself with a handful of brief notes.
The rioters are simply a bunch of thieves.
The police are so politicised that they are now incapable of keeping the peace or interacting with members of the public. For some strange reason every time I see a constable I get a mental flash of a black clad, shaven headed, brutish thug regarding every person in sight as an active criminal. I then blink and realise that the mental flash was in fact reality.( Their constant reference to the public as civilians is an indicator of their mindset.) All constables above the rank of Inspector should be sacked and non graduate constables gradually promoted in their place.
All politicians of all parties are to blame for the current state of society. They allowed unfettered immigration into our small island where there was no accommodation and few jobs. They have shaped and formulated an education system that operates at the lowest common denominator in order that no pupil can ever 'fail.' ( e.g. only a very few A level pupils would know what a denominator is. )
The same politicians have wilfully instituted both a social engineering & benefits system that removes personal responsibility but encourages irresponsibility. The state will tell you what to eat, drink, and bloody well think. You will not under any circumstances make any decision about your lifestyle that contravenes the 'advice' given by an army of state paid but self appointed experts. It is, however, quite alright to have several children by different fathers because that is your right as a 'liberated' person. The state will even reward you for having all these babies in the form of benefits and suitable housing. The state will then provide you with fifteen hours of childcare every week so that you can take a 'cash in job' to top up your welfare handouts. If you are a reasonably well paid 'middle class' family don't worry. You get the your own handouts for making the choice to have children which in effect means that you're only the same as the single mother raising her mixed brood on the local council estate. After all an income of £40,000 per annum really needs welfare back up doesn't it?
   The same politicians will then spend endless hours making statements to lying journalists about how they intend to make things better and how everything is all the fault of the present/previous bunch of statist twats government. There are 650 of the evil turds none of whom, in the words of Koko, would be missed
Teachers and everybody else involved in the education system are also to blame for the state of society. Their job is simply to install academic excellence not to follow a political agenda layed down by Marxist orientated professional pricks educators. The other rather unfortunate fact is that most of the teachers are only semi literate and numerate themselves.
The mass media consist only of a bunch of lazy, idolatrous, ignorant, self important, semen stains oafs that have a capacity for lying that equals that of their political masters.
The bankers and economists who in their greed led an entire nation into a national debt that may be irrecoverable.
The people of this nation who, being as greedy as the bankers and politicians, thought that property and material assets were the only indication of wealth ,status and happiness.  You all forgot about love, compassion, companionship, charity and forgiveness, the properties of the only true contentment that the human race can achieve.
Perhaps more than a handful but it does clear the mind for the next rant.

Telegraph Crap Beats Proper Reporting Every Time

A few un/interesting comments by those who guide us;
The Foreign Office has stated that about one million people will travel abroad for stag/hen parties this year, of which almost 170,000 will not have travel insurance. A spokesperson added that sun and alcohol don't always mix. This is incredible. How can they know such things?
Louise Bagshaft Bagshawe, described as a prominent Tory M.P., has been decrying the use of gagging orders by rich people, ' the girls ( invoved) equally have a right to their own lives and stories in my opinion, and they are being gagged by rich men who have the power to afford very good lawyers'. Actually Louise my dear the girls can also afford very good lawyers from the money they've been paid for their stories from the gutter class newspapers. ( Less Max Clifford's 10% of course.)
The fascist twats government is planning a law that will make all puppies born in Britain be microchipped at a cost of £35.00 to the owner. This is an attempt to control the ownership of so called 'dangerous breed' dogs. Campaigners have said that such a move will penalise respectable middle class owners rather than the yobs with dangerous dogs who will most likely ignore such a requirement. Obviously all persons not of the middle classes only possess Pit Bulls, foaming Staffies, and deranged Dobermans that, when not crapping all over the streets, are engaged in such light hearted activities as child savaging and sheep murder. Total ARSEHOLES the lot of them, campaigners and government.

A Safe Career In Somaliland

According to The Mail the Captain of H.M.S. Cornwall, Commander David Wilkinson, made the these comments after releasing seventeen Somali pirates his crew had arrested.
He first said that he was not convinced that bringing them back to the UK would have been a deterrent. ( Bang right mate, the bastards would have been on benefits and claiming asylum before you could have said Nelson's Blood. However if you care to check up on some Royal Navy history you might find that the navy used to hang pirates a few minutes after capturing them. This system apparently acted as some sort of deterrent.)
The gallant Commander then added the information that he was unconvinced that they had enough evidence to convict the pirates even though they were heavily armed, were holding hostages and had confessed!
I think I'll bugger off to Somaliland and hire meself a fishing boat and minimum wage crew. I foresee a lot of risk free profit to be made. ( The Commander obviously can look forward to a second career as a chief constable or member of the judiciary. )

General Thoughts

I've stopped buying The Telegraph as the standard of reporting was fast approaching that of a broadsheet 'Sun' so have being trying out various other publications to find one that suits. Top of the Pops is The Yorkshire Post a well informed regional newspaper that amazingly still reports the news. The letters page is always interesting with ordinary people and not self important public purse suckers able to air their views.
One, undoubtedly, nice lady today wrote about her concern for the police involved with the thugs in the recent demonstrations in London. Unfortunately she didn't explain how she knew who were the police and who were the thugs.
A chap by the name of Paul Whalley has been convicted of a race hate crime in good old Liverpool. ( once the home port of many slave ships and a joint constantly telling us how proud it is of it's heritage.)
Apparently the said Whalley objected to two women parking on double yellow lines outside his children's school. During the following altercation Whalley admitted saying ' you don't do that in this country.' However a grandmother in the vehicle said much worse was uttered, culminating in the devasting remark' can't you blacks read?' In  a further incident at a parent's evening Whalley was alleged to have made a reference to a banana boat.
He was of course convicted and awaits sentencing. I bet the local scuffers and CPS felt they had really done their duty on that one.

The attack continues.....

Of all the festering arsehole farted shite that falls upon the outcasts of this nation the anti smoking bigots are definitely leading the way by the mass of sheer turdal outpourings from their collective syphilis infested brain cell.
First we have news from that happy holiday destination the island of Jersey. A rancid oaf by the name of Andrew Heaven, the Chief of Human Experimentation and Compulsion Head of Health Improvement has stated that plans are afoot to ban smoking in private cars. He stated that the decision had already been made consultation with the public and all lying pressure groups and fake charities interested parties would take place before any move was made to implement this certainty proposal.
Then along comes the  British Lung Foundation with 15000 fiddled and untutored children's signatures on a petition demanding that smoking in cars be made illegal when children are present. As the petition was presented at Gestapo HQ 10 Downing Street our clueless leader Davenik would undoubtedly have kissed many arses and promised that the 'Big Society' was mindful of their nauseating manipulation of concern and compassion for the nation's children.
Let us now head to that centre of European excellence the port and city of Liverpool, once famous for having the ugliest prostitutes between the prime meridian and the international date line. ( if memory serves me right those of Sydney just shaded it.) Courtesy of our impartial national broadcaster ( junior section), CBBC, a tale of depraved living and child abuse emerges from a spokesman for Alder Hey children's hospital.
Dr. Steve Ryan a renowned, self important twat, spokesman for the hospital said that one in three of the insanitary brats kids treated there were ill because conditions such as bronchitis, asthma, and ear infections could be caused by many factors in a large city were caused by parents smoking in front of them.
One little sweetie on the CBBC website made the poignant and heartbreaking statement that " there is a smoking ban in England but it doesn't apply to people's own space like their homes or cars. "( No darling it doesn't, and do you know why... no.. let me tell you, it's because the NAZI b'stards haven't got that far yet but by using your senseless bleating they will undoubtedly start making a case to make the use and possession of tobacco a criminal offence. So why don't you and all the other righteous brats go and jump in the Mersey and start swimming towards the Isle of Man,the exercise should do wonders for all your smoking related inflictions and ailments.)

Happiness Happiness the Greatest Thing The State will Possess.

The ONS ( the crapauds used to have a much more useful organisation called the OAS ) has been instructed by Cameron of the Coagulate to assess how satisfied we are with our lives. Moronic busybodies Researchers will be asking a sample of 200,000 thousand brain dead citizens ( People with brains will simply tell the inquisitor to f*** off ) four simple questions about how worthwhile they feel their lives are.
An OGPU officer ONS employee referred to as Paul Allin said " psycho -babble is an accepted way of confusing everyone subjective well being is one approach to to understanding and measuring the well being of the nation. While we want to produce the results that the government have already given us consistent results over time, we will consider the first results as experimental.
You have been warned. Expect new laws that will bring enforced happiness upon all the nation. Poor people and pensioners will be full of well being or their benefits will be withdrawn. Council employees will be given powers to issue on the spot fines to anyone wearing a sombre expression. Newspeak, New Thoughts, New Happiness. The State Is your Mother and Your Father and Your Protector. All Is Well. Sieg Heil Seig Heil Sieg Heil......

An inconvenient heart attack put paid to a lot of blogging last year but, fit (ish) again I thought that instead of swearing at the newspaper I'd be better off writing a few things down.
So let's start with the offalings, sorry, offerings from today's Daily Teleliar.
Page 8 reports that Dogbos' are to be introduced by the spring of this year. This will enable local authorities to take action against dogs on the grounds of the individual pooch's behavioural problems. Owners could be forced to take their dogs to training classes, keep them on leads, or muzzle them when outdoors. Also there are proposals to have all dogs microchipped to make it easier to identify the owner.
Well there it is. First they came for the smokers; then they came for the drinkers; then the overweight. Now they come for the dogs. Perhaps an armed uprising of Yorkshire Terriers and Border Collies may be in order to make these disgusting politicians and their allied 'experts' fearfully cringe for their lives in some faeces infested, derelict, and swine flu infected office for the collection of illegally imposed fines.
The proposal about all cars having to be insured is a few days old and I only mention it as another example that this government is no less statist than the last.
Police hunting the killer of the young lady in Bristol are being urged to take DNA samples of men in the Bristol area. A creature named as Kerry McCarthy, currently robbing the public purse by being the elected Labour MP for Bristol East, and Canon Alan Finchley of Clifton Catholic Cathedral. are publicly supporting mass DNA testing of Brisol's male population over the age of sixteen. Do these farts ever think before opening their mouths? Surely any DNA testing would have to be voluntary or did Cyclops Brown pass a law enabling the plods to DNA test anybody at random ? Who in their right mind would submit to such a test knowing full well that the 'stapo will never destroy the collected DNA samples.? And what makes them so sure that the crime was committed by a person who actually lives in Bristol, or do they insuggest that the entire UK male population is tested. Statist arseholes the pair of them.