Reflections From A Subsidised Housing Circle

There are several subjects that I would like to comment upon this week the main one being the fortnightly appearance of orange dog turds on the route to the school. Now, as you would expect , this area contains a large number of indeterminate breed mongrels that wander around the streets with no sign of any human ownership about their persons. Amiable creatures for the most part theirs is a seemingly happy life as, apart from the occasional road casualty, they seem to have no natural enemies and they wander about sniffing at various objects with what appears to be a great deal of contentment and a certain air of ' bon vivant'.
The main problem that arises from this idyllic existence is that their toilet habits are necessarily of a nomadic nature that leaves piles of festering dog turds at random locations on public footways. The particular infestation that I am writing about seems to occur on a regular two weekly cycle and always follows the same pattern, so to speak. The deposits are all around four inches in height and formed in a circular pattern with a base diameter of approximately six inches. The consistency is neither wet nor dry but the amazing points are the spacing and the colour. It would seem to be a most incontinent dog that lays a turd at one hundred yard intervals over a distance of almost three quarters of a mile. Not only incontinent but the possessor of an immense gut to deposit twelve equally sized and coloured circles of shit in that same distance and, at the same time, remain invisible as nobody I have quizzed on the route has seen the defecating canine at work. This is not totally improbable as most of the young mothers who traverse the pathway do so with their mobile phones glued to their ear and undoubtedly wouldn't notice if they were wading knicker high through a swamp of rotting lizards.
Well I have to admit that I am completely mystified by this phantom but regular crapper to the extent that I'm even contemplating holding an overnight watch when the next cycle becomes due. ( I won't of course because imbibing a bottle of red vino and a couple of large whiskys tend to make the eyelids rather heavy.) Anyway my theories so far encompass a tribe of similar sized Whippets being simultaneously walked, an incontinent local smackhead getting his/her periodic dose of fresh air, Godzilla roaming the streets at night in search of tattooed titties or ... well I just don't know. The major improbable is the rich orange colour of the turds. From personal experience I know that human faeces tend come in various shades of brown or black dependant on the types of alcohol and curries consumed previously, but Orange!
When the current flood level subsides a little I might inspect each rotting pile and see if there is any sign of staining on the pavement. After all it could be an alien attack!